We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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