Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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