Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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