Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
