i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize