1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Two words: blizzard sex
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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