There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
