he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary