im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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