i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
