Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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