she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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