I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
