I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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