Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
