THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
