Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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