His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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