when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize