You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
