Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Less talking, more tequila
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
