Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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