She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
