He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
