You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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