Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
