remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
