Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
