I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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