why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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