just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
