Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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