Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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