Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
