so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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