Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
