seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
