i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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