So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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