i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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