He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
