Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
