he puts the penis in happiness.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
