Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
