we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
