he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
