I heard we made out
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
