Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
