Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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