You work out of a Hotel?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
