who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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