Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
