It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
