sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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