She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
