i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
