Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
