I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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