she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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