all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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