Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize