I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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