Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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