We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
