My nipple is on Facebook.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
