do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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