and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
